Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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