she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
