OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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