A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
