Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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