i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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