hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you will always have a special place in my vag
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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