maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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