I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had to cum in my sink.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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