My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
