just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
