How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
