I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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