8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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