Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
