your room smells of hookers.
And success
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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