I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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