ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
