I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
