Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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