Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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