Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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