that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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