never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
