Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
