I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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