you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
