they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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