You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dick very happy bro
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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