fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
