My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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