I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
