scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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