hotel room ftw
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
