I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my shit smells like andre
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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