I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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