Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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