my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
