It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pants are for mortals
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize