YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
