last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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