i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
