I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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