This girl is more easily done than said...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize