We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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