I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You are the jesus of drinking
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
