What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize