You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
one might say we're banned from that church
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
