Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
