i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
