i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
