four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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