it hurts more in the daytime
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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