You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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