yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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