he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
