Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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