I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
