Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
