shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
did i walk over a car last night?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
